Everyone’s speculating about the scale of the coming Republican victory in the midterm elections. Will they win 39 seats in the House of Representatives? 45? 60? 80?

And in the confusion, everyone’s testing out different possible metaphors to describe the political and cultural effect of the Republican win, depending on its size. Will it be a “massacre”? A “tsunami”? A “generational shift”?

The time has come to get this all straightened out. I hereby present The Official Guide to…

 
Republican 2010 Victory Metaphors
 

If Republicans win…     The correct metaphor to use is…      
1 – 38
   seats
    blip    
39
seats
    wave    
40 – 41
    seats
    a good shellacking    
42 – 45
    seats
    steamroller    
46 – 47
    seats
    earthquake    
48 – 49
    seats
    The Big Payback    
50 – 52
    seats
    asskicking    
53 – 56
    seats
    1994 all over again    
57 – 59
    seats
    Tea Party Jamboree    
60 – 62
    seats
    wipeout    
63 – 64
    seats
    a thumpin’    
65 – 66
    seats
    stampede    
67 – 69
    seats
    massacre    
70 – 71
    seats
    juggernaut    
72 – 75
    seats
    1894 all over again    
76 – 77
    seats
    revolution    
78 – 79
    seats
    The Perfect Storm    
80
seats
    tectonic rupture    
81 – 84
    seats
    tsunami    
85 – 86
    seats
    The Great Refudiation    
87 – 89
    seats
    meteor strike    
90 – 91
    seats
    generational shift    
92 – 94
    seats
    Party Like It’s 1773    
95 – 97
    seats
    Doomsday    
98 – 99
    seats
    Armageddon    
100
seats
    The Apocalypse    
101 – 116
       seats
    mass extinction event    
117+
seats
    The End