I hate football. I really do. But yesterday, while passing by the University of California campus in Berkeley, I noticed thousands upon thousands of people swarming toward the football stadium. Half of them seemed to be wearing red-and-gold clothing — not the Cal colors. I asked what was going on, and was informed that Cal was playing an important game against USC. And that USC fans had arrived en masse to cheer on their team.

I shrugged my shoulders and was about to continue on my way when I noticed one USC fan with a particularly noteworthy anti-Cal shirt:

I get the feeling these wouldn’t be very popular in Berkeley clothing shops.

And that is the first (and last) post I’ll ever make about football.

P.S. — USC beat Cal, 30-3. Looks like Cal really does suck after all.

41 Responses to “The first (and last) football thread: Cal Sucks”

  1. 1Roscoe on Oct 4, 2009 at 2:01 pm:

    We may suck at football, but at least we don’t drink beer out of cans wrapped in brown paper bags…………

  2. 2stuiec on Oct 4, 2009 at 2:04 pm:

    Yes, but you know that they’re going to appropriate that graphic of “Cal” for other variants on the shirt that will sell like hotcakes on Telegraph Ave.

  3. 3Emmie on Oct 4, 2009 at 3:29 pm:

    I’m a football agnostic. I don’t hate it, I just don’t care about it.

    Although it is a pretty good metaphor for the history of the human race: Two groups of big men fight over territory and a small object (crown) while everyone else cheers or groans.

  4. 4Anonymous on Oct 4, 2009 at 3:57 pm:

    futbol is the game

  5. 5CattusMagnus on Oct 4, 2009 at 4:52 pm:

    “I hate football. I really do.”
    A man/woman after my own heart.

    I would love to see the reactions that this shirt got from the locals.

  6. 6Bolero on Oct 4, 2009 at 6:12 pm:

    Oh! I thought the thread was about the small green variety of football !!

  7. 7Bolero on Oct 4, 2009 at 6:14 pm:

    Zombie, I did not care much for football either but in my first year at Berkeley, I did get a year’s pass just to see what it was like. It was fun because our team kept winning!! It was the first time Cal won all the way to a bowl championship in 30 yrs!! Alas! It does not look like they are doing this anymore..

  8. 8Fred on Oct 4, 2009 at 7:10 pm:

    aww… where’s your school spirit?

  9. 9phoenixgirl on Oct 4, 2009 at 7:33 pm:

    now that’s funny and i hate usc as much as i hate cal bezerkly! oh, i should say i strongly dislike usc as much as i strongly dislike cal bezerkly

  10. 10Reggie Dunlop on Oct 4, 2009 at 8:06 pm:

    College football is great, but the PAC 10 is always overrated. Anyhow, I’ll have to get a shirt like that somewhere.

  11. 11Bolero on Oct 4, 2009 at 9:55 pm:

    Fred, about the school spirit…well, I don’t know…I am not much into sports and it does not affect my life…intellectually I find it just empty and it just does not make sense. So, my team wins or loses and that is supposed to affect me?

  12. 12pat on Oct 4, 2009 at 10:40 pm:

    What a great T shirt. My college did not have much a team either. That happens sometimes.
    I remember when my High School had to play a very good public High School in football. The coach of the public High School was discussing the game. He said, ……”Well, the difference is that I have to drill the team in plays every day. The boys are tough and strong. The (our guys) kids from *** all know the plays. Every play. Every player. They don’t do play drills. They just work out to be tough and strong.”
    They kicked our ass.

  13. 13Starless on Oct 5, 2009 at 5:59 am:

    Heh! Nice shirt. By far the best school spirit t-shirt I’ve seen were the UW-Madison “Fuck ‘em Bucky” t-shirts with the badger mascot giving the world a big middle finger. It had all of the elements: it rhymed, it was obscene, it was funny, and it showed school loyalty. Unfortunately, I don’t think they make them anymore.

  14. 14Ed Mahmoud on Oct 5, 2009 at 8:48 am:

    God’s team, the University of Texas at Austin, has signed an agreement to play a home and home series with Cal in 2015 and 2016.

  15. 15Stone K on Oct 5, 2009 at 9:19 am:

    Does no one see the marketability of these tee shirts?

    every school that gets to play against cal… people who hate cal’s political policies… People who hate Cal and it’s radical staff and student body will snap these shirts up…

    Shoot I would open a booth with these shirts at the stadium on game day because I know they will sell…

    Damn it all, another great opportunity has passed me up.

    And Roscoe from post #1 – Your right in Berkley they don’t use paper bags around their beers… But that’s because they have no respect for the law… Not something to be proud of. Just saying =)

  16. 16Anonymous on Oct 5, 2009 at 9:40 am:

    Greetings and good morning to zombie and everyone. So here’s where everyone’s go to ;) Good to know. I’m looking forward to renewing old acquaintances.

    Zombie, I’ve been such a huge fan of your work for so long but I never knew there was a “blog” section to your site! I’ve only read the features. Now there’s even more to enjoy here. Thanks!


  17. 17Russkilitlover on Oct 5, 2009 at 9:41 am:

    Oops, don’t want to be known as “annonymous.”

  18. 18Anonymous on Oct 5, 2009 at 9:52 am:

    turn doesn’t play footballs anymore either zombie., and this is the first and last comment about footballs I’ll make here. Hey Russ and others, two words : Coorrespondence Convention ….

  19. 19Anonymous on Oct 5, 2009 at 9:54 am:

    Correspondence turn, sheesh

  20. 20JamesTKirk on Oct 5, 2009 at 10:12 am:

    Forget footballs. Now Fizzbin! That’s a man’s game.

  21. 21Lincolntf on Oct 5, 2009 at 10:30 am:

    Heh. Cal does indeed suck.

  22. 22Roscoe on Oct 5, 2009 at 10:34 am:

    Hey Stone K………in Berkeley we only drink fine wines. Ya know, Mad Dog, T-Bird, Irish Rose………….

    (For the record, I’m actually a resident of Oakland, the Gaurd’en Spot of the Country…………)

  23. 23Centaur on Oct 5, 2009 at 10:47 am:

    Zombie, full of class.

  24. 24Russkilitlover on Oct 5, 2009 at 10:59 am:

    “Hey Russ and others, two words : Coorrespondence Convention ….”


  25. 25Anonymous on Oct 5, 2009 at 11:01 am:

    He’s rather effeminate looking to me.


  26. 26RoboMonkey on Oct 5, 2009 at 11:07 am:

    That’s Correspondence COMMITTEE. (See the Wiki for context.)

  27. 27bp_sf on Oct 5, 2009 at 12:48 pm:

    Where’s the USC cheerleaders?

  28. 28Formercorpsman on Oct 5, 2009 at 1:48 pm:

    Serious question.

    Is baseball ok?

  29. 29Shug on Oct 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm:

    go to a niners game and Drink about 6 huge beers Then eat the garlic fries.
    you’ll learn to love football.

  30. 30Shug on Oct 5, 2009 at 4:18 pm:

    So is Zomblog the place where all the cool kids went?
    Seems like it. Howdy old friends

  31. 31JamesTKirk on Oct 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm:

    bp_sf: Where’s the USC cheerleaders?

    That’s the only part of the sport (any sport, really) that I’m interested in.

  32. 32Joe on Oct 5, 2009 at 5:57 pm:

    NFL football is mildly entertaining. Now basketball, I really hate. I really do.

  33. 33Throbert McGee on Oct 5, 2009 at 6:08 pm:

    Zombie — check your email. Also, mazel tov on your recent banishment from Siberia.

  34. 34Guy Average on Oct 5, 2009 at 9:06 pm:


    You should balance this post with a re-post of Anarchist Soccer pics from a couple of years back.

    That would provide something for everyone.

  35. 35Anonymous on Oct 5, 2009 at 10:14 pm:

    So do you think I should leave my tshirt home when I go to Berkeley?

  36. 36Ed Mahmoud on Oct 6, 2009 at 10:52 am:

    I saw UB40 at the Greek back in the day.

  37. 37Kirly on Oct 6, 2009 at 12:34 pm:

    Russkilitlover and anyone else bannished…

    Get your nic in The Book of the Banned along with more than 1500 others!

    If you like to chat, visit us at Table 9

  38. 38Incognito on Oct 7, 2009 at 2:53 pm:

    Howdy Shug!

  39. 39tower on Oct 8, 2009 at 3:46 am:

    hello, everyone. If we’re talking about Cal football, what about “the play” from the Stanford game in 1982? Incidentally, Stanford’s QB was some wonderkid named Elway.

  40. 40Hhar on Oct 8, 2009 at 6:28 am:

    Shug, you here too?

    I’m not banished, I left. It just got too creepy, and I have a high tolerance.

  41. 41Anonymous on Oct 9, 2009 at 10:46 pm:

    USC wins championships… Cal just does not do that