Welcome to San Francisco. I'll be your guide as we stroll through the city and look at some typical local scenery!
Well, somebody here has a personality disorder.
Here's the same guy from the back, where he chose to display his more pointedly offensive messages. The small writing at the bottom of the lower sign says, "Even the ugly ones are unsafe." Somehow, with just a few strokes of the brush and even fewer words, he managed to offend and insult just about every single person currently in Iraq. Now that takes talent!
This sentiment has become so common at these rallies that I think they're considering adopting some version of the slogan as the city motto:
"San Francisco -- We Are the Terrorists! (And by "We," We Mean All You Other Americans -- Not Us!)"
A little awkward, but they're still working on it.
So concise, yet it defies comprehension. A political koan for the new millennium!
You see how sophisticated we are in San Francisco?
This person looks semi-normal, right? Well, you are sorely mistaken. Scroll down to hear her in action.
This video, perhaps more than any other video or photo you'll ever see, gives the flavor of what it's really like to attend a typical San Francisco anti-war rally. You ain't seen ranting til you've seen San Francisco ranting.
Time to honor some of our local heroes, such as Nobel Peace Prize laureate Yasser Arafat, who is always popular with the teens.
This photo will be available as a postcard in the gift shop at the conclusion of our tour.
What -- you thought "Night of the Living Dead" was fiction?
And I'm gaining mental illness right now.
Ever see one of those creepy Eastern European films where the inmates take over the asylum and make grotesque faces at the camera while a sinister oom-pah band plays in the background? No? Well, now you have.
I'm trying my best, but you people aren't making it easy!
Hey, you stole my line!
Somewhere there is a child who has to call this guy "Grampa."
Here we see Code Pink making yet another in a long series of political blunders: Never walk in an anti-war march with people you don't know, because you're going to end up marching behind a sign that makes you look like an asshole.
And if Code Pink is so intent on protesting at recruiting centers, why don't they protest at the ISM booth, which exists solely to recruit cannon fodder and human shields for Palestinian "militants"?
Sometimes I allow the world to behold my sacred visage...
...and sometimes I don't. It all depends on how I feel at that particular moment.
Here in San Francisco, we respect all political orientations. Well, almost all.
You see how tolerant we are? And respectful?
Note to tourists: The easiest way to avoid being the victim of crime is to commit the crime yourself! That's the way we do things in San Francisco.
Guam. And don't you forget it!
We're so diverse here in San Francisco, even our paranoid schizophrenics come in all political persuasions.
Fuck war? Now that's the kind of war I'd like to see!
"Me and my Autumn Spirit Pole say: It's time for a lynchin'."
I wish my pants were a hate-free zone!
"If this doesn't end war, nothing will!"
(Photo courtesy of Aaron D.)
At first, I thought these two young women were merely unoriginal, but when they turned the sign around, I realized...
...that they were uniquely, creatively idiotic.
Speaking of which: Why oh why do so many anti-war protesters allow Mercedes Benz to advertise on their signs?
Here, a Mercedes Benz spokeswoman offers test drives to protesters.
And thus concludes our tour of San Francisco. Please step carefully as you exit through the turnstile!