{"id":51,"date":"2008-08-18T23:13:38","date_gmt":"2008-08-19T06:13:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/?p=51"},"modified":"2008-08-18T23:13:38","modified_gmt":"2008-08-19T06:13:38","slug":"world%e2%80%99s-financial-problems-solved-afghan-hobo-finds-723-trillion-in-ditch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/?p=51","title":{"rendered":"World\u2019s Financial Problems Solved: Afghan Hobo Finds $723 Trillion in Ditch"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img src=\"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/wp-content\/images\/moneybed4.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN (AP) &#8212; All financial problems worldwide were solved yesterday when a hobo from Kandahar found $723 trillion in a ditch.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was just looking for a shady place to lie down,\u201d the unemployed vagabond  said through a translator. \u201cI prefer ditches, when I can find them. This seemed more comfortable than the average ditch, but then I realized, \u2018Hey, I\u2019m lying on money.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The hobo, who goes by the single name Abdul, hasn\u2019t yet decided what he wants to do with the money. \u201cThey tell me there\u2019s enough here to pay off all national debts, provide free health care for everyone in the world, to end starvation and eliminate class differences around the globe,\u201d Abdul said. \u201cBut then where am I going to sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Upon hearing news of the discovery, Alan Greenspan, former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, said, \u201cWell, looks like I wasted my entire life. Sixty years of studying economics and enforcing monetary policy for nothing. I could have been partying the whole time.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN (AP) &#8212; All financial problems worldwide were solved yesterday when a hobo from Kandahar found $723 trillion in a ditch. \u201cI was just looking for a shady place to lie down,\u201d the unemployed vagabond said through a translator. \u201cI prefer ditches, when I can find them. This seemed more comfortable than the average [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zombietime.com\/zomblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}