Presenting: Howard DEAN!
Dean-o at first entertained the crowd by making funny faces and doing impersonations of himself getting overly excited (QuickTime movie; 1.5mb). (Due to bandwidth limitations, we can only bring you this short clip of Dean speaking. Sorry!)
But he brought the crowd to its feet with his moving recollection of a wrestling match he once fought against all Three Stooges simultaneously!
"Yes, folks, it was in a ring very much like this one."
"As soon as the bell sounded, Moe lunged at me. So I poked him in the eye like this!"
"Curly came at me next, but I slapped him silly. He made that 'Woop woop woop' sound as he spun to the mat."
"Then I grabbed Larry around the neck and throttled him with all my might."
"Moe tried to sneak up on me from behind, the dirty rat! With lightning-quick reflexes, I jabbed him in the other eye with my thumb."
"Curly picked himself up off the mat, but I stopped him cold with a 'Nose-Picker Special'!"
"And before he could react, I got him in the other nostril too."
"I finished him off with a poke in the ear -- like this."
"Larry woke up right then, but I put him out of his misery with my patented 'Spleen Remover' gut grab."
"And as for Moe: right to the back of the head with a gag pistol that shot out a little flag that said 'Bang!'. He never saw it coming."
"And so, the match was over, as quickly as it began."
"And the moral of this story, folks, is: Bush is Hitler. And don't you forget it!"
To thunderous applause, Dean-o waved to the crowd and retreated back into Sproul Hall and his waiting entourage. But no one can out-maneuver zombie: I was waiting for him as he slipped out a side door.
Dean-o and I got up close and personal, but he was soon spotted by eager Deaniacs who pushed me out of the way.
He waved goodbye to me as he headed off. Goodbye, Dean-o!